Business Mentor Note: The writer is a mother of 4 and is happily married to the same husband for 21 years. Together they currently operate an international ESL firm (SPEAKING PARTNERS INC.) and a training and consulting firm (NXT LEVEL TRAINING AND CONSULTING INC.)
I have often been asked if truly, motherhood and business could be succesfully merged. As a full time mom and an entrepreneur (mother-preneur), I have asked myself that question several times and have failed to come up with a definitive answer until I was asked by a good friend to write about it. Thinking deeply and resolving to come up with a heartfelt answer, I have written this article to share my answer.
Raising 3 kids (4 if you will count my golden boy who left this mortal world too soon) and juggling several small businesses is one difficult act to fulfill but not truly impossible to succeed in. Although the challenges are real, the hurdles seem impossible to deal with and the constant need to devote time and patience and efforts are as pressing as can be, there is a way to combine both worlds and be happy and successful. It is not easy but it is possible. In order to succeed in both worlds, one must be ready to tread the unchartered path and face all challenges head on – and just like the newest Cinderella movie says – with courage and kindness.
Courage because both worlds of motherhood and entrepreneurship are full of scary moments and monstrous demands that would leave the weak at heart dead on the spot. The daily demands and the seemingly never-ending call for your focused and undivided attention is real enough for the less-than-brave-at-heart to easily acknowledge defeat and surrender the white flag. But wait I did say that it is not impossible to succeed, right? A resounding YES to this! A mother who wishes to operate a business while totally embracing her divine call as the primary nurturer of her children could serve both sides by applying her courageous acts of excellent time management techniques, innovative problem solving ideas, topnotch supervisory and managerial prowess, compassionate guidance counselor techniques and other applicable skills and behaviors – all of which could be learned, improved and mastered. A mother-preneur would meet every demand, challenge, highs, lows, experience one at a time and with enough courage to face them like a warrior. The word surrender is obliterated from her vocabulary because a determined mother-preneur will simply not surrender. When problems come and no solution seems to surface, she will simply move on, consider it a fact that could not be changed, and tackle the next item on hand. And it doesn’t matter whether it is about her children or her business because it is the same – both are matters that she care for so much that she would be willing to sacrifice and go the extra mile to make sure that both thrive in the best environment and atmosphere. Now we have heard that “Courage is Not the Absence of Fear” and that is true. Mothers who are entrepreneurs also get scared and fearful – whether it be about a child who does not seem to get Math or an employee who cannot seem to understand systems no matter how hard you train her – but with sheer determination to not give up and see things through, everything ends well. As my husband would always say, while trying to mimick Manny Pacquiao, “Oo naman pero excited ako!” is his answer to the question if he feels scared when facing a large fearsome audience in his training firm. The point is not stopping at feeling scared but getting excited to overcome that scary feeling.
Kindness is another tool that a mom-preneur could always count on to save the day. True, its hard to be kind when times get tough and excellence is undermined, but at the end of the day its the kindness and tolerance and forgiveness we show that would matter more than grades and sales. Kindness is the balm that heals all kinds of relationships – mother to child, owner to employees – and provides soothing to an embittered soul. Raising kids and running a business could results to bruises, heartaches and traumatic feelings all of which could permanently harm the heart and soul of any human being. However applying daily a generous amount of kindness can almost always ensure that discords and troubles are melted away. There would always be problems, struggles, concerns on both worlds that a mother-preneur lives in and piling them up only adds to the burden. Applying kindness – to a rebellious child who is trying to assert independence or to a late employee who might be in a particluarly difficult situation – coupled with a direct but toned advice or reprimand may solve the problem more easily than when kindness was dismissed altogether. It is a simpler process to let go of the burden of hurt and replace it with love, tolerance and forgiveness. A mother-preneur could also benefit a lot by applying kindness to herself. After all she is only human and would and could make mistakes along the way. Instead of berating yourself for doing a poor job, or castigating oneself for not getting what you aimed for, kindness to oneself would help you do your best the next time and heal yourself from the wounds you acquire on your daily journey.
So the answer to the question for me is Yes! motherhood and entrepreneurship could be merged successfully and happiness could be achieved in both worlds. With courage and kindness, mixed with all other important skills, behaviors and attitudes that a well meaning mother and an ardent entrepreneur should have, the road to both worlds may have less thorns and strifes but filled with more exciting adventures and learning and growth.
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You may contact Armando “Butz” Bartolome for questions and more information.
By email: [email protected]
FB Page: Armando Bartolome
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/franguru/
